02. real world ☁️
in most parts of the Northern hemisphere right now, it’s fall — but here in Malaysia, spring has only just begun.
after a cold, harsh winter of lockdowns and isolation, people are throwing open their doors, dusting off their shoes, and emerging — cautious, blinking — into the outside world. my vaccination passport turned yellow on Friday, so i too enjoyed the masses in stepping out into the sunshine. and my, my, what a different world it was.
Bangsar seemed to be the epicenter of where everyone was congregating at 1pm on a Saturday afternoon. cars snaked up and down Jalan Maarof like a conga line; being stuck in their midst ignited the same anxiety i feel when i find myself in a crowded room. but i had a plan to fulfill, a list to follow, so i stayed my course.
people were out with a vengeance. lockdowns had driven them crazy; vaccinations had set them free. i saw throngs of people lining up for banana leaf rice and Urban Daybreak, packing up popular restaurants like W.T.F without even an inch of space between tables. is this what the world was up to while i was squirreled away for the past month and a half, waiting out my vaccine-induced prison? if that’s the case, i’m so glad i had that space to myself.
in learning to tread the balance between Inner World and Outer World, it’s so much easier to stay in the former — where everything can be planned and arranged and manipulated to your liking.
we choose the food we want to eat, when we want to receive it, without taking into account things like traffic and travel and availability and lines. we choose the people we want to interact with, the context, the time and date and platform, and can even cancel at a moment’s notice without doing any significant harm to the other party. we choose the content we consume, the schedules we follow, the routes we take on our solo evening walk. everything is under our control.
but in the Real World, things are different. we’ll never be able to predict traffic jams or parking spots, whether our beautician will be on time (nope) or if our favorite hawker store noodles will run out (yup). we can’t control the weather, the elements (i think i got heat-stroke… and dehydration), the crowds.
we will have to try, and take risks, and make stupid mistakes we can’t ctrl+Z — like panic-buying the wrong product at a zero waste shop, regretting it 15 minutes after you’d left the shop, and deciding to go back to return it four hours later.
we learn to live with the consequences. and that is infinitely harder to do.
but there’s also beauty to the chaos; magic that emerges from the madness — the perfect parking spot that appeared moments right after i turned on my right signal. the lovely salesgirl at the Root Remedies Experience Store, who explained everything there is to know about skincare and inspired me with her clarity and warmth. the nice Pan Mee uncle at my usual Lucky Garden kopitiam, who snuck me a small bowl of his own 100 Plus when his colleague apologetically told me they were out of it. 🥺
you can’t plan for these things — mistakes. sadness. traffic jams, and random acts of kindness. human connection.
THAT is what sets the Real World apart… and makes it oh so worthwhile to engage in. ☁️
what was your first experience of “being out again in the world” like? were you excited, nervous? calm, curious? battling sensory overwhelm *ahem*likeme*ahem*?
write to me — i’d love to hear all about it!